Mean Mr. Mustard / Polythene Pam

John Lennon

 Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
 Shaves in the dark trying to save paper
 Sleeps in a hole in the road
 Saving up to buy some clothes
 Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
 Such a mean old man
 Such a mean old man.

 His sister Pam works in a shop
 She never stops, she's a go-getter
 Takes him out to look at the Queen
 Only place that he's ever been
 Always shouts out something obscene
 Such a dirty old man
 Dirty old man.


 Well you should see Polythene Pam
 She's so good-looking but she looks like a man
 Well you should see her in drag dressed in her polythene bag
 Yes you should see Polythene Pam.
 Yeah yeah yeah!

 Get a dose of her in jackboots and kilt
 She's killer-diller when she's dressed to the hilt
 She's the kind of a girl that makes the 'News of the World'
 Yes you could say she was attractively built.
 Yeah yeah yeah!

Commentary

Twenty years on, and the loss is still palpable…

Credits

 Officially attributed to John Lennon and Paul McCartney.
 Unofficially accepted as Lennon's work.
 Composed (probably) in India, some time in the summer of 1968.
 Recorded July 1969, Abbey Road Studios, London.
 Lead vocals: John Lennon.
 Released as part of the album "Abbey Road", 1969.

John Lennon, a poet? Yes indeed. In his twenties, young Winston dabbled quite extensively in verse, going so far as to publish two volumes of highly idiosyncratic excursions into the form - “In his Own Write” and “A Spaniard in the Works”. Titles such as ‘I sat belonely down a tree’ and ‘The Faulty Bagnose’ serve to illustrate the charming whimsicality of his style, and my original inclination (when planning this tribute) was to run one of the two
[1].

I changed my mind, though: I chose, instead, to go with his equally quirky description of two human oddities, Mean Mr. Mustard and Polythene Pam [2]. Further comment is superfluous; I’ll just add that (imho) this passage is, in its own way, every bit as surreal and nonsensical as anything Lear or Carroll ever wrote.

— Thomas

[1] Those are the only two I have at hand right now, thanks to their inclusion in the chapter titled ‘Sense and Nonsense’, in Douglas Hofstadter’s wonderful collection of essays, “Metamagical Themas”.

[2] The fact that the two songs form what is possibly my favourite sequence in what is almost definitely my favourite album of all time, may have had something to do with that decision <grin>.

[Coda]

John Winston Lennon was assassinated on the night of December 8th, 1980 - twenty years ago to this day. May his spirit rest in peace.


The Wondering Minstrels, poem #631 · 9 December 2000

Poem selected by Abraham Thomas

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