Marriages Are Made
My cousin Elena
is to be married
The formalities
have been completed:
her family history examined
for T.B. and madness
her father declared solvent
her eyes examined for squints
her teeth for cavities
her stools for the possible
non-Brahmin worm.
She's not quite tall enough
and not quite full enough
(children will take care of that)
Her complexion it was decided
would compensate, being just about
the right shade
of rightness
to do justice to
Francisco X. Noronha Prabhu
good son of Mother Church.
Commentary
Here’s yet another of my favorites … with a (longish) commentary below. My colleague Deepa Balakrishnan re-introduced me to Eunice deSouza’s poetry (after a gap of at least six years) with a poem on the cat theme (which I sent y’all some weeks back). Stumbled on another poem, which I’d like to share with y’alll.
Wonderfully biting sarcasm and a sharp eye for the ‘marriage market’ of conservative (or rather stick in the mud, male chauvinistic) India - where prospective brides are examined like cattle being brought into a market.
The poem is characteristic deSouza - a plain tale told without any unnecessary conceits and embellishments, letting well chosen, hard hitting words speak for themselves. Yes - speak for themselves - for this poem (like all deSouza’s poems) is best enjoyed when read aloud.
If Keats’ poetry is like a fine, old, mellow wine, Eunice deSouza’s poetry is like a good single malt - sharp, biting, harsh to the taste - but equally enjoyable.
Ms.deSouza has been Head of the Department of English in St.Xaviers College, Bombay for over 25 years - and is also a leading theater / literary critic.
Most of her poems have a strong sense of individuality and feminism, and Several of them (such as this one) are also ‘catholic poems’ - which take us on a deeply cynical tour around her Goan / Roman Catholic community, as also the conservatism of Pune, where she was brought up after she lost her father at the age of three.
These two short poems she wrote speak far louder than any commentary ..
Don’t Look for my life in these poems
Poems can have order, sanity
aesthetic distance from debris.
All I've learnt from pain
I always knew,
but could not do.
[and]
My Students …
My students think it funny
that Daruwallas and de Souzas
should write poetry.
Poetry is faery lands forlorn.
Women writers Miss Austen.
Only foreign men air their crotches
Daruwalla of course being Keki Daruwalla - a retired (and high ranking) police officer I think, and another of India’s best contemporary poets.
Finally, here’s a stanza from her poem ‘deSouza Prabhu’ - which gives us a little more insight into her (of course, keeping that ‘Don’t look for my life in these poems’ caveat above)
http://www.indiaworld.co.in/open/rec/poetry/eunice3.html
I heard it said
my parents wanted a boy
I've done my best to qualify.
I hid the bloodstains
on my clothes
and let my breasts sag.
Words the weapon
to crucify.
–
Suresh Ramasubramanian + + http://kcircle.com
Show 1 commentHide comments
From the Wondering Minstrels mailing list, 1999–2008.
Pratim Putatunda · 7 July 2003
Hi,
While I’ve read Eunice D’Souza and consider her fairly good – I find her themes rather cliched. All about the stereotypical downtrodden women and that sort of thing. Personally, I dislike female victimisation themes – especially in poetry. Prose is enough to express that angst. Besides, I suspect poets like Ms deSouza try to make use of such themes because they know they’ll sell.
Indian women of her milieu have broken the shackles and really nothing need hold them back except themselves and their sense of victimisation. Personally, I prefer Indian writers, especially women writers, that reflect the real Indian woman - she’s strong, full of gumption, guts and grit, and quite willing to take on the patriarchal male scene on her terms. While I’m not suggesting that everything is hunky-dory out here, it is however equally true that as compared to other equivalent patriarchal societies - including Japan where women are merely dolls despite their economic emancipation - and especially, say, in muslim countries – the Indian woman is miles ahead. I mean women are not even allowed to drive a car in Kuwait which is supposed to be amongst the more emancipated, moderate muslim states. And they are still far from getting the right to vote.
While it’s true the custom of “seeing” the prospective bride is still prevalent in India, but the days of checking her out like cattle is in the past. These days it’s more about the girl and the boy and their families meeting each other where the boy is as much under scrutiny as the girl. This custom still prevails because Indian society – like most non-western societies – does not have the dating system as in the west. But tell me, don’t the western boy and girl size each other up when they date? Besides, the westernised, educated Indian youth have been dating, falling in love, getting married and living happily ever after, or divorcing, for a long time now. Most of my friends including me have had “love marriages” as opposed to “arranged marriages” – and I’m in my forties.