A Renewal
Having used every subterfuge
To shake you, lies, fatigue, or even that of passion,
Now I see no way but a clean break.
I add that I am willing to bear the guilt.
You nod assent. Autumn turns windy, huge,
A clear vase of dry leaves vibrating on and on.
We sit, watching. When I next speak
Love buries itself in me, up to the hilt.
Commentary
A short, sad and lovely poem that perfectly illustrates the inexplicable complications of emotional bonds. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship must have felt like this at sometime. And ‘up to the hilt’ perfectly captures both the depths and the pain.
Merrill is best known for his longer poems, particularly the sequence collectively known as ‘The Changing Light At Sandover’, but he could also produce small gems like these.
— Vikram
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From the Wondering Minstrels mailing list, 1999–2008.
Louis · 23 April 2006
This short confession indeed reflects a “Renewal.” The author has tried every method possible to dismiss his feelings for the other, who calmly accepts the rejection (or at least the attempt of one). However, when Autumn - a season of intimations of mortality - arrives, the author is struck nearly speechless by the realization that he has again succumbed to the same, if not deeper, love for this person. It is possible to fall in love with someone all over again, despite our intellect. All it may take is a glance while watching the falling leaves.
Louis Lopardi