On the Vanity of Earthly Greatness
The tusks which clashed in mighty brawls
Of mastodons, are billiard balls.
The sword of Charlemagne the Just
Is Ferric Oxide, known as rust.
The grizzly bear, whose potent hug,
Was feared by all, is now a rug.
Great Caesar's bust is on the shelf,
And I don't feel so well myself.
Commentary
Following on from Ozymandias…
A refreshingly humorous spin on the subject - the punchline drops into place neatly. Guiterman has written a number of vaguely Nashish poems, of which this is probably the most famous - personally, the only other things I’d heard of his were the following fragment:
Of all cold words of tongue or pen
The worst are these: "I knew him when--"
-Arthur Guiterman, 'Prophets in Their Own Country'
and, From Richard Lederer’s ‘Adventures of a Verbivore’ (good book, btw):
“It’s not true that no words rhyme with orange . . . However, there was a man – I’m not kidding – named Henry Honeychurch Gorringe. He was a naval commander who in the midnineteenth century oversaw the transport of Cleopatra’s Needle to New York’s Central Park. Pouncing on this event, the poet Arthur Guiterman wrote:
In Sparkhill buried lies a man of a mark Who brought the Obelisk to Central Park, Redoubtable Commander H. H. Gorringe, Whose name supplies the long-sought rhyme for orange.
So orange is rhymable.”
He does not appear to have led the world’s most interesting life either - some dedicated websearching turned up the following, which for lack of a better name I’ll call a
Biographical Note
Guiterman, Arthur, American poet, 1871-1943.
— Martin
Show 12 commentsHide comments
From the Wondering Minstrels mailing list, 1999–2008.
Barbara Thompson · 25 January 2000
I am looking for a poem by Arthur Guiterman titled “Pershing at the Front”. I can’t find it anywhere.
Ilza Carvalho · 23 November 2000
actually Guiterman did have a great life …
- you can read about him in Famous American Humorous poets, by Everett S. SAllen
Jaadubb · 7 April 2001
If you’ve ever seen or read Arthur Guiterman’s humorous poetry the likes of Pershing at the Front, Strictly Germ Proof (1910) , The Dogs Cold Nose or Little Lost Pup, you get the feeling you’re reading Theodore Geisel.
Sam & Jew · 10 January 2002
Hello!
Thank you for posting Arthur’s poem on the web. I am looking for information about Arthur Guiterman. I have searched the net and found nothing. Can you please help me. Thank You
Mike
Richard Haluska · 15 February 2003
I’ve been looking for “Pershing at the Front” for years. I didn’t even know the author’s name until today. I read it in a literature anthology in 7th or 8th grade, around 1960. Does anyone know its whereabouts?
Richard H.
Ruth Ann Danielson · 8 March 2003
I found “Pershing at the Front” by simply putting that title into my search engine, Google.
I knew about this poem from my jr. high years when I learned it in connection with a choral reading group I was a member of, about 8 years earlier than your jr. high years. Maybe this is just something that clicks with early teens.
Herbert Patterson · 18 November 2003
while looking up Arthur Guiterman I found your posting and you mention “Little lost pup” and “Dogs cold noses” Do you have copies of these poems or a web site where I can fine them. I looked for them on the web but havent been able to find them….
thank you,,,please respond to and not this email address….. I’m using my father email and if you respond to this address I won’t get the info. thanks for any help,
Donna
GrandmaBarb51 · 15 July 2005
Please let me know where I can find his poem Little lost Pup.by Arthur Guiterman…I recall it as a child and would like to read it to my granddaughter….thank you….
Here is all that I can remember
Little lost pup…..alone was he…..for he never barked at a slinking cat, but stood in the sqaure where the wind blew raw With drooping ears and trembling paws, etc…..LOL!
Leenane8 · 28 April 2006
Does anyone have any info on
Mavrone
one of those sad Irish poems with notes
by Arthur Guiterman
?
MP Cahill
ronaldmosier · 24 September 2006
Improved version -
Not only does he rhyme with orange,
Redoubtable Commander Gorringe,
But sailed the seas, did H. H. Gorringe,
Which thus makes him a Navel Gorringe.
Ron Mosier
ronaldmosier · 24 September 2006
Not only does he rhyme with orange,
Redoubtable Commander Gorringe,
But sailed the seas, did H. H. Gorringe,
Which thus makes him a navel orange.
Gorringe is the Pits – Ron Mosier
GrandmaBarb51 · 8 April 2008
From GrandmaBarb51
Does anyone have any info as to where I can find this poem? (Title of book it is in)
(This is all I can remember)
The Little Lost Pup, by Arthur Guiterman
He was lost, not a shade of a doubt in that
For he never barked at a slinking cat
But stood in the square where the wind blew raw With drooping ears and a trembling paw.
With a mournful look in his pleading eyes
And a plaintive sniff at a passer-by.
That begged as plain as a tongue could sue,
“Oh, Mister! Please may I follow you?”
etc..etc…etc….
Oh the saddest of sights in a world of sin
Is a little lost pup with his tail tucked in!