The Ideal
This is where I came from.
I passed this way.
This should not be shameful
Or hard to say.
A self is a self.
It is not a screen.
A person should respect
What he has been.
This is my past
Which I shall not discard.
This is the ideal.
This is hard.
Commentary
An reader (who wishes to remain anonymous) sent me this poem, saying “I loved it - it’s concise, but it speaks volumes.” I loved it too, if for a slightly different reason - this is one of those poems that appears to be drifting on aimlessly, until you reach the ending, and the whole suddenly crystallises. The final two lines,
This is the ideal.
This is hard.
not only form a wonderful conclusion to the poem, but by their minimalist form lead the reader to reevaluate the language and form of the previous verses. Viewed in isolation, the second verse tends perilously close to doggerel; as part of a larger whole the awkward construction only reinforces the ‘voice’ of the poem.
Note the somewhat unusual use of rhyme and metre to give the poem an unpolished air (or, perhaps ‘unsophisticated’ is a better word) - contrast this with Poem #186, which claims to do this, but does not.
— Martin