The Purple Cow
The Purple Cow's Projected Feast:
Reflections on a Mythic Beast,
Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least.
I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.
Commentary
What the poem doesn’t say the subtitle does - do I really need to comment on it? Burgess, incidentally, grew increasingly annoyed by the fact that he was known mainly for ‘The Purple Cow’, and eventually wrote the following followup:
CONFESSION: and a Portrait, Too,
Upon a Background that I Rue!
Ah, Yes! I Wrote the "Purple Cow" --
I'm Sorry, now, I Wrote it!
But I can Tell you Anyhow,
I'll Kill you if you Quote it!
– Gelett Burgess
Biography
Burgess, Gelett
b. Jan. 30, 1866, Boston, Mass., U.S.
d. Sept. 17, 1951, Carmel, Calif.
in full FRANK GELETT BURGESS, American humorist and illustrator, best known for a single, early, whimsical quatrain: [The Purple Cow]
Burgess was educated as an engineer and worked briefly for a railroad in that capacity. Between 1891 and 1894 he taught topographical drawing at the University of California. In 1895 Burgess became the founding editor of Lark, a humour magazine, and in 1897 he began to publish books of his self-illustrated whimsical writings.
Burgess’ humour was based upon the sudden break of ideas: a substitution of the unexpected for the commonplace. Among his best-known works are Goops and How to Be Them (1900) and subsequent books on Goops (bad-mannered children). He is credited with adding several words to the English language, including blurb. Among his many other works are Are You a Bromide? (1906), Why Men Hate Women (1927), and Look Eleven Years Younger (1937).
– EB
blurb blArb. slang (orig. U.S.). [See note below.] A brief descriptive paragraph or note of the contents or character of a book, printed as a commendatory advertisement, on the jacket or wrapper of a newly published book. Hence in extended use: a descriptive or commendatory paragraph. Also Comb. Said to have been originated in 1907 by Gelett Burgess in a comic book jacket embellished with a drawing of a pulchritudinous young lady whom he facetiously dubbed Miss Blinda Blurb. (D.A.) See Mencken Amer. Lang. Suppl. I. 329.
– OED
Parodies:
http://www.purplecow.com/weird/poetry/
The Wordsworth one, at least, is worth a read.
— Martin
Show 9 commentsHide comments
From the Wondering Minstrels mailing list, 1999–2008.
James De Gaugh · 15 July 2002
Hello, Saw your comments about the Poem “The Purple Cow”. Thought you might like to check out the sequel to it that I wrote. It is located on the ilovepoetry.com website. Under “Poem Search”, type in the name “ De Gaugh “ , with a space between “De” and “Gaugh”. Then just scroll down my poems to the one entitled “The Purple Cows”.Let me know what you think of it. Thanks James De Gaugh
Phyllis Tess · 30 May 2003
I am looking for a book that has this poem as well as some of Burgess’ other whimsical ones in it. Does anything like this exist. I grew up with an Uncle that had a very whimsical personality and he taught me this poem at a very young age and it was a very special thing between us. I now want to teach it to my Granddaughter. thank you
phyllis tess
director of group sales
radisson deauville resort
direct line:www.radisson.com/miamibeachfl
Phoenix · 1 December 2003
The book you are looking for is called “Goops and How Not To Be Them”.
-Reader
corbin17 · 18 February 2004
My grandmother had a porcelain purple cow creamer and used to quote the purple cow poem. I’m glad to know who wrote it.
Jack Taber · 9 March 2004
I have never heard it before this morning. President Bush’ campaign manager recited it on the news today.
danviz · 11 October 2004
I had to memorize this poem in 1968 when I was in the 2nd grade and I have never forgotten it
Paul Campbell · 11 December 2004
I taught this poem to my grandaughter when she was very young. She is now 28 and a school teacher. We heve exchanged purple cow items for birthdays for many years. I now have a Purple Cow Shrine in my home and so does she.
Julia Schmidt · 28 January 2007
I learned this poem in elementary school, but I remember reading sequels to it. I have no idea, sadly, who the authors were, but the one sequel that I have never forgotten was:
I never saw a purple cow
I never hoped to see one
But from the milk we’re getting now
There certainly must be one!
J Schmidt
Howard Johnson · 15 July 2007
I saw your comments on a web site about Gelett Burgess’s “Purple Cow” poem
in it you said that you had written a sequel to the Purple Cow on ilovepoetry ,com
it looks like a great website, but I was unable to find any reference to De Gaugh
I would really love to read it. could you send me a copy if it’s not to much trouble.
Howard Johnson
or hojo120@ graffiti.net
Thank you.